It is quite a difficult experience for me since I am a very new Mom. I am always hoping and Praying God will fill in the gaps that I or my beloved husband may have missed and He does. Being a parent is a joy (Samuel is a Blessing and not difficult to love at all!) but when all the questions from an adoption come flying at you it is emotionally exhausting.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night and reading my Bible and the scripture was all about the temptation of Christ. I thought it was strange. Why would God pursue me with such a verse? Where does temptation play in this pending situation and why not a comforting verse or a scripture reminding me to be strong or confident for our post placement interview?
Then today, I think I finally got it. Adoption is hard sometimes. It can be so hard that you want to give up! Or maybe never adopt again! It can consist of documents, peoples opinions of you and your spouse, huge financial commitment even after they get home (three years) and a whole lot of grace from God to not be selfish when you really think you deserve something more. Or worse..thinking you did enough of a good thing by adopting. The last one stirs my stomach a little as I confess again to have heard this before.
But....whoever you are reading this...Don't give up. Don't lose the fight inside you to temptation of self. It is worth it. Every minute your report goes through and someone hears of a successful family through adoption...another country opens it doors, another family takes the leap of faith to adopt, another child is rescued from a life without love, another set of dreaming people become parents, another Samuel is free to love and be loved in return.
God Bless your difficult moments and obstacles. When we are weak Christ is surely strong for us.