Friday, June 15, 2012

Under the Microscope

      Agreeing with the Lord to rescue the Fatherless comes with a price. You must give every moment of your life to be examined by a well paid social worker. Now, don't let this come off as negative but it is a reality. Despite how wonderful, sweet and generous a social worker may be it is still not my favorite aspect of adoption. In fact for me its the hardest. I feel like a post placement report card is coming and I could pass or fail according to another person's perspective. While these feelings only prove my sinful nature and brightly reveal my need for a savior, they still exist. 

    It is quite a difficult experience for me since I am a very new Mom. I am always hoping and Praying God will fill in the gaps that I or my beloved husband may have missed and He does. Being a parent is a joy (Samuel is a Blessing and not difficult to love at all!) but when all the questions from an adoption come flying at you it is emotionally exhausting. 

     I remember waking up in the middle of the night and reading my Bible and the scripture was all about the temptation of Christ. I thought it was strange. Why would God pursue me with such a verse? Where does temptation play in this pending situation and why not a comforting verse or a scripture reminding me to be strong or confident for our post placement interview?

   Then today, I think I finally got it. Adoption is hard sometimes. It can be so hard that you want to give up! Or maybe never adopt again! It can consist of documents, peoples opinions of you and your spouse, huge financial commitment even after they get home (three years) and a whole lot of grace from God to not be selfish when you really think you deserve something more. Or worse..thinking you did enough of a good thing by adopting. The last one stirs my stomach a little as I confess again to have heard this before.

   But....whoever you are reading this...Don't give up. Don't lose the fight inside you to temptation of self. It is worth it. Every minute your report goes through and someone hears of a successful family through adoption...another country opens it doors, another family takes the leap of faith to adopt, another child is rescued from a life without love, another set of dreaming people become parents, another Samuel is free to love and be loved in return. 

God Bless your difficult moments and obstacles. When we are weak Christ is surely strong for us.

The night before we went to see Samuel after two years.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

My Blog is a bit messy!

 Family ! I have tried to update photos with zero success on my side panel! Please know you were not deleated! I was trying to update you! I hope to fix this soon! We love you!!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Almost one year

I am hoping to see even more and praying to change evermore for the Glory of Christ.  I am amazed forevermore by your miracles and striving to say yes for more of you in our lives. May Christ be GLORIFIED in the journey we are on everyday in this family through the adoption of our son. May our lives reflect your love and adoration. Oh... and God, please find more families for kids like ours that desire love from a mom and dad even as a teen.-Amen

Our last photo ever taken as a family of two..okay human wise..

Samuel likes pizza put it lightly

sometimes he cooks his grandma's Russian recipes

always a help in the kitchen